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A Christmas Poem
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through Froyd's house
nothing moving-the cat still,
as some drunken louse
Froyd was reclining, as was his wont,
dreaming of video games Nintendo and X-box,
asleep in the bed,
while under the tree were wrapped undies and socks
The dreams were all good ones,
and on his face lay a smile,
and all was at peace in the world
(at least for a while)
When suddenly he awoke
cause on the roof there was a clatter
The smile on his face disappeared
the happy dreams did all shatter
Froyd swore softly to himself,
and took up his sword,
the sounds were loud and many,
like a mongolian horde.
He rushed out, right quick,
and clambered to the trailer top,
which was quite the accomplishment,
considering his impressive four inch hop.
And what did Froyd see on the rooftop that night?
A fat man in red, some reindeer, a sleigh,
a light sprinkling of snow,
and some reindeer-snack hay.
"hey now! what's this!" Froyd raised the cry,
holding his sword out and ready,
the fat man turned, wobbly,
his nose red and legs slightly unsteady.
a bag of goodies over his shoulder swung,
"I've come to stuff your stockings
from the fireplace, you've hung."
"Fat man, you've made a mistake," Froyd said,
"If you've not noticed, this is a trailer,
there's no fireplace here,
only an old furnace from Naylors!"
The fat man stood, perplexed, and said
"Fire place, furnace, any will do...
just put down that sword,
let's talk this thing through..."
Froyd shook his head, raised his sword,
and advanced through the snow,
the fat man sighed, and pulled out a gun
that was not just for show
The fat man fired in the air,
a loud ringing bang,
The reindeer shuffled,
and a distant bell did clang.
The fat man started,
"Now, listen here Froyd,
I'm Santa Claus, I'm here for a reason,
to bring some joy to this dark wintry season..."
Froyd replied with a grunt,
"LIsten here, Santa, you've done got me awake,
I'm tired, angry, and sore,
God have mercy on your soul, for your sake."
The two combantants faced off,
Froyd angry, Santa grinning smugly,
and each swore they could here the theme
from the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
At some unspoken word,
the two then began,
Santa emptied his clip
as Froyd towards him ran.
A Christmas miracle it would seem,
as the bullets flew near,
none hit Froyd, and in Santa's eyes
there was some fear.
But miracles were on both sides
this fateful Holiday night,
for on the sword a stray bullet struck,
flinging it from Froyd with much might.
Both now advanced,
unarmed, teeth they did gnash
each one prepared mentally
for this horrible clash.
There was a fight,
an exchanging of fists,
the blows flew, and so did the gifts
if you were around, you'd have run for cover,
of battles all, this was the mother.
When suddenly a light glowed
around them from on high
they both now paused,
staring up as it drew nigh.
"Good gravy you two!"
said the bright shining orb,
"Tis the time of year
when fights ought be ignored!"
"Now put up your hands,
and forgive each other's slights,
for there will be PEACE
on this Christmas night!"
So they both did as was told
Froyd saying sorry with much meaning,
Santa apologizing for starting the whole thing
as the orb looked on, gleaming.
Santa put some gifts on the table for Froyd,
and Froyd went back to his sleep,
Santa raided Froyd's fridge for cookies and milk,
while Froyd smiled to himself, for none did he keep.
Santa was ready to go wake him up
to smack him this way and that,
But the light stopped him then,
saying "No more calories, burn some fat!"
So onward did Santa fly,
on that cold wintry night,
as the rest of the world received
the gifts of his flight.
The next Christmas Santa knew this,
if Froyd sent a letter,
Santa would stay away,
because he now knew better.
But what of that light,
that shown early that morning?
That stopped the fisticuffs
with its strict shiny warning?
Some say it was an angel,
sent from high above,
some say it was a ghost
of Christmas, glowing with love.
But here is the truth,
you've heard it now right
a hanging flashbulb,
a very tall snake-light.
But what of the voice,
that stopped the fight silly?
Why it belonged to Froyd's cat,
the soft fuzzy Milly!
For she was tired and cranky,
being awoken by the smashing,
to get her much needed sleep
she knew she'd have to stop the clashing.
So she went up hiding behind the light,
and talked some common sense,
a quiet night's sleep her
best recompense.
Having stopped the two's rampage,
she curled tight under the tree,
and purred quiet and cat like,
"Happy Christmas, and a good night to me!