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More Remakes
If you’ve seen the remake of House on Haunted Hill, you’ve basically seen the remake of Thirteen Ghosts. Of course, this isn’t to say that the HOHH remake was any good, but rather that the typical stylistic flair found in virtually every big budget horror movie is present in both. I suppose it helps to realize that Dark Castle produced both as remakes of William Castle originals.
I’m not going to spend a lot of time railing against these stillborn remakes so much as wonder why they’re being remade at all. As you may or may not know, Dark Castle is a production company that appears to be taking William Castle films from the 50’s and 60’s, and remaking them for the so-called “suave” audiences of the present. Apparently Vincent Price isn’t good enough for today’s group. I have definite problems with this. In many ways, William Castle was a genius. His legacy lives on in film lore as the man who strove to make audiences a very real part of the movie. He had devices put into seats to give shocks to viewers at key points. The studio placed ambulances outside the theater and forced movie patrons to sign waivers as a show of how terrifying the movie was. He turned possibly ludicrous stories into stories you could go along with because his style was so unique.
And this is what’s becoming painfully obvious today. Consider Thirteen Ghosts. We see the 2001 remake and think it’s trite, boring. The story is stupid, the plot twists unbelievable. The blood isn’t terrifying so much as it is gratuitous. However, it’s basically the same story that was used in the 1960 original. The difference lies in the nuances to the formula. My questions don’t simply sit at the doorstep of Dark Castle, but Hollywood in general. Why must everything be remade?
It seems to be the trend of the last five years to throw a leading name on or add some extra blood, and think you’re doing justice to the original. Fox had a great film in 1968’s Planet of the Apes, but instead of doing it true justice through a re-release with a brand new print, they rushed into production a haphazard script because they had an A-list star and a director they bought off. As much as I criticize George Lucas for his continual “special ultimate editions” of Star Wars, at least it’s the same movie. When you hear that the movie is coming out again, you don’t wonder if maybe they’ve decided to fix their mistakes by making a new movie. You don’t think that maybe they’re going to cash in on the inevitable opening weekend cash cow by putting out a new movie.
We used to think that some movies were sacred. Some movies could never be redone. Citizen Kane, Gone with the Wind, The Godfather. We never thought of these as being touchable. But take a look at this site. Dig around, and you’ll find a remake of Fritz Lang’s M is being rushed into production. M, of all things. A movie so isolated to its time and place it could never be re-created, and they think they’re going to.
Of course, I have this sneaking suspicion that they don’t really think they’re going to do it justice. Similar to the 1998 remake of Psycho, they don’t want to keep the tone right so much as cash in on the aura of a great film for the ignorant few who are turned off by something as simple as black and white coloring. In the case of Thirteen Ghosts, they’re more concerned with giving people whose only experience with Castle is 1993’s Matinee a cheap thrill. It’ll be gone in an hour and a half, and the movie will languish in home video hell.