|
You Little Shits
It’s a ritual. Some sort of perverse humor is gotten from the bureaucrats at the University of Minnesota to let the student organizations paint the bridge with their own cute little logos every September. You know the ruse; if you give ‘em a cookie they won’t notice you’re screwing them on a daily basis. And so they go about the business at hand. Every September the student organizations go out and paint little logos meant to catch your eye and think “gee, maybe I should call these people and become a Minnesota Muslim!”
The most atrocious of them is a group called “Men against Sexism.” A very intelligent professor friend of mine said, upon seeing their little banner, “Men against sexism is like bees against honey.” He’s got a point, I’ll give him that.
But “Men Against Sexism”, “Queer Student Union”, “Taoists of Minnesota”, all this bullshit…it’s a symptom of something much more disturbing. I’ll keep this short, my evidence brief. I’d rather you think about the problem than read all my reasons for thinking it is a problem.
In the 60’s being an Atheist was terrible. So students all became atheists. Shit, now today’s student has parents who are atheists. What’s to rebel against? We can’t reject God anymore, so let’s pick some obscure religion. That can be our religion.
Now that being gay is no big deal, let’s make a big goofy club to fuck with the squares!
Let’s be touchy-feely man-feminists!
The reasoning seems to be that if you’re the brooding obscure loner who knows the seven basic rules of Buddhism, everyone will suddenly think that you’re so brilliant. So continental. So damn sexy and cool.
You’re not cool. You’re not sexy. No one is going to feel sorry for you because you got detention in high school for playing with a bean bag filled with rice. Being a Buddhist just cries out “give me attention!” and not “I’m so damn cool.”
Men against sexism: eat a dick. Taoists of America: if you were born into the religion, fine. Otherwise you reek of weakness.
You’re who I beat up. And it’s not because I hate blacks or Jews or atheists. Shit, I don’t give a damn. I hate white suburbanite yuppie kids who think that because they got that B in French no one understands them. I hate people who think they deserve the world because mommy, daddy, and television told them when they were kids that they were the jewel of America, and therefore deserved the world.
Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe you’re just too goddamn boring for people to waste their time on? Have you ever considered that maybe you don’t “deserve” anything? If you don’t have friends, it just couldn’t possibly be because you’re a dull, acne-infested toad, could it?
Those piercings, those boots with the 8-inch heels. None of it will help if you’re shit.
Think about it, kiddies.