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Jurassic Park 3 preview review
You people need to just shut the fuck up.
Jurassic Park is one of those movies you can't quite put your finger on. The writing's laughable, the actors just seem to be there to react to the big scary monsters, and the story itself is pretty weak. But at the same time most of us look at the Spielberg movie with fondness.
The Lost World has been largely seen as the opposite. It came out to more hype than had been seen in years for any movie, and was treated to one of the biggest opening weekends ever. It was an undisputed hit, and yet if you ask most people today they will proceed to tell you how stupid it was, and how they couldn't believed they shelled out $8 for it. It's pretty bloody obvious that many of these people spent their ticket price more than once, considering how well the movie did.
Now comes Jurassic Park 3; more proof of the rule that any movie that can quadruple its production cost will invariably have a sequel eventually. Many agree that the first Jurassic Park sequel was lackluster than the first (something I don't agree with), and the thought of a third movie is unsettling to most.
Not to me. I'm looking forward to the fucker.
I said before the bad qualities of the first movie, and those same qualities are there in the second one. Yet you all spent your money to see that, and I'm sure a good portion of you own at least the VHS of it. Why would you spend all that money on a poorly written monster movie based on a piss-poor sophomoric novel by a writer who's time and come and long gone?
Because it was really cool to see an 8-ton animal come to life and tearing shit up, that's why. It was really cool to see a 7-foot tall bipedal raptor stalking little children through a kitchen, and I'm sure it scared the shit out of you when the T-Rex ripped the little thing to shreds in the finale.
Forget the scientific inaccuracies; like the fact that velociraptors were really about 3 feet tall, and the creatures in the movie were closer in size to the Utahraptor, or that no carnivore would go around killing little humans when a giant sick triceratops is sitting in a field just waiting to be picked off. None of this matters because it was a lot of fun. Just like King Kong, Alien, and Predator, we all like this movie because it let us just sit down and shut up for two hours without having to think about anything.
I'm not seeing any differences between this and The Lost World. In fact, I see more positive qualities in the sequel than I do in the original. Jurassic Park's score was pretentious and over-dramatized. With titles like "Hello Brachiosaurus" and inane shit like that, it's almost tedious to hear. The sequel's score was much better, darker and primitive in its roots.
Yes, the acting was bad and the story itself was ludicrous, but the thing that kept my ass firmly in the seat was the dinosaurs. Everything good about the first movie was upped with the second one. More action, more death, and more carnage. It had a thick layer of macabre violence that only a safari film about dinosaurs can bring, and the pretentious writing from the first one (Thank Christ there was nothing like that flea-circus speech in the second one) was completely absent.
So now we're in the face of a sequel, coming out this July. I'm looking forward to it. Spielberg was probably tired of the whole thing, and to be honest I'm kind of tired of him here. We're being given more dinosaurs, more carnage, and more people to get picked off one by one. If you're going to judge it on merits like acting or story, you're just going to be disappointed. However, it holds a decent shot if you hold it in the same way you held the first one, and likely forgot to hold the second one too.
It's a monster movie, plain and simple. The actors are there to get scared and run, and eventually get eaten by the big mean monsters. Very few movies of this kind vary much, and the only thing that makes them special is the small changes in the form that you're presented with. I've heard that we're going to see a Rex attack, and then a Spinosaur (a new entry to the film) will promptly kill said T-Rex. There'll be Pterosaurs flying around and picking people off from the skies, and those damned raptors are finally going to be changed from that hideous plain brown.
Will it make a lot of money? Hell, yes. Will it be any good? It ain't art, it's just entertainment.