than being broke. Honestly. I would rather speak naked in front of a crowd of 300 than be broke. And it’s not really that big of a thing, I guess, but it shames me to no end.

I managed, after screwing around all afternoon worried about this, to pull off some financial wizardry (which I’m sure will bite me in the ass) and made some money appear as if from no where from credit cards. So after the dust settled, and before supper, things were taken care of for paying for rent and deposit.

However, this whole shit storm coupled with the massive frustration of not getting paid as soon as I could have (the one time I needed it and would have been fine had things been done the way I had planned for) plus student loans taking about a week longer to get to me plus other non-related crap, it’s been a hell week for me.

Thank God it’s half over.

we get the house, but they expect the down payment and rent on Friday.

and Pacifica isn’t getting the loan payments out until next week at the earliest.

which means that I am flat fucking broke until then…which means that there’s a whole mess of fucking problems that arise with moving in.

This week has rapidly been spiralling down into it. That is all.