I see these ridiculous Visa commercials, where apparently paying with cash and/or check is MUCH SLOWER than paying with the check card. Obviously all of these people who are moving very fast have never been in any of the lines I’ve been in. Here’s the real happening: the slide never works, the touchpad is old and decrepit, and by the time the cashier has nabbed the card from the incompetent hands of a freakin’ idiot who’s too busy talking on the cell phone to do something right, it’d would have been much easier to hand the clerk the cash and have them COUNT ON THEIR FINGERS THE AMOUNT OF CHANGE. But that’s ok, the person paying with cash in the commercials is always made to feel unwelcome by the other jerks in line who apparently couldn’t wait the extra 10 seconds to own their crap.

And, while we’re at it, let’s talk Iphone commercials: I just saw one where some jackanapes was talking about having his mp3 player, PDA, a REGULAR phone, and then a PHONE FOR HIS EMAILS AND HIS TEXTING. GOOD GRACIOUS. and then he’s so pleased about the iphone because it puts all of those things in one. If some idjit comes up to me and starts waving the iphone in front of me bragging about all that functionality, I’m going to grab it and stomp the ever-living-s$#( out of it. And I’m going to have someone have a polaroid so I can share the look on the face with the interweb…that they can’t see on their defunct phone.

When did self-righteous assholes become the standard person for selling stuff?

will someone shut al gore up? Please?

I mean, what’ll it take? Fine. I’ll go green when he shuts up. Deal? Deal.

Guaran-damned-tee that me going 100% green is going to be easier than Gore shutting that yapper of his.