once more to california. I’ll be back, though, you lucky people.

I tell you, these trips are doing less and less for getting rid of the feeling of oppressiveness that is Bemidji. It isn’t school, it isn’t teaching(that has its ups and downs, more ups though), it isn’t the hospital(now that I realize that I could quit at the end of the month, it has given me the strength to see it through until probably july)…it’s this town.

This town…it seems to want to rob me of any initiative that I may have, to make me lie back and be quiescent, accepting what is without drive to change it.

When I get older, or old enough to retire, maybe I’ll be like that(God willing, I won’t), but now it is too much to ask. And it’s been that attitude of this town that I’ve fought against for the last 7 years of higher education.

5 days out of town per month isn’t enough anymore. This morning I caught myself thinking about what I’d take with me when I moved away, and what else I’d probably put in storage(living for over 5 years in one place, I’ve acquired quite a bit of stuff that would go well in a starter home), and what I’d sell.

Taking with me, I decided, I’d probably take 1 video game system, my good laptop, my laptop speakers, the attachment to hook cable into it, and clothes. I’m still deciding on the computer printer. And my books, I re-read books at a rather often interval, plus for school I’d want as many books as possible. That’d be the bulk of what I’d take with me…right now I’ve got 6 6′ high bookcases full up(so much so that they spill into my office at school).

I decided if all else fails, I could make a bed out of my books. It’d probably be good for my back.

Everything else, I could get wherever I moved…maybe pick up a microwave. and a coffee maker and grinder wherever. Everything else either into storage or the junk pile.

but until July, I sit here more and more eagerly awaiting my little getaways to the subject I’m even more passionate about than writing: mythology.