I’m pumped! I’ve got to break in a new sword…which will be helpful to protect me against mine enemy, Milly.

always when I listened to that song, the one they’re singing in the rowboat and all, I thought “Man…it’d be awesome with a ripping guitar on that song…and totally awesome drums and bass..man..this song could rock“

well, my dream came true when I ‘borrowed’ a Nightwish cd from a friend.

They rock normally, and they truly made this crappy crappy song rock.

Thank you for answering the on-hold call, our agent Sean Froyd will be right with you.

Please select the correct numbered option to speak with him:
1. You are going to waste my time asking my social security number and address for the umpteenth time
2. You are not going to be able to help me, so you’ll transfer me to another number
3. You ARE going to help me, but in the most roundabout-non-english-speaking way possible.

Thank you! Please wait. Your estimated wait time is 10 minutes, because our agent is currently shitting all over your latest loan statement.
(more crappy saxophone)
Please be aware, that the amount of yelling you will soon endure, you can log onto froyd.net and receive it there, in your time!
(more crappy saxophone)
Hey, you know! Why wait on the phone, when you can go to Froyd.net and not get answers there too!
(more crappy saxophone)
Your estimated wait time is now less than 8 minutes, but you could cut that all out by going to Froyd.net, where Sean Froyd is eagerly awaiting not to assist you! Or you could stay on hold.
(crappy saxophone solo)

…ad infinitum.

anybody want a google e-mail account? 2 gigabytes of storage. easy to get into.

49 invitations left. One of them could be YOURS!!!

the mummy frozen in the alps seems to have been contaminated by bacteria since it was brought down from it’s freezing grave high in the alps.

Well, no shit?!? contaminated? You don’t say? By bacteria? Who’d have thunk that a FIVE THOUSAND FREAKING OLD MUMMY would get contaminated by modern bacteria when it had been frozen for all that time!?

Jesus. Next they’ll be saying that it wasn’t bacteria at all, only the festering ghost of the man whose tomb they invaded with their ‘hiking gear’ and their ‘modern gps systems’.

seriously. Ghosts don’t dig that shit.

I don’t know why it took so long, but according to Susan Hauser, the bill was going to be paid(and I quote) : “Either today or tomorrow”

I wonder if a pissed off phone message and email had anything to do to get that going?

I don’t know, but there you have it.

(order of purchase)

Tanya Tucker- Lizzie And The Rain Man [Single Version]
Ray Parker, Jr.- Ghostbusters
Better Than Ezra- A Lifetime
Anna Nalick- Breathe (2 AM)
Willie Nelson- Pancho And Lefty
Huey Lewis- Heart Of Rock & Roll, The 0
The Charlie Daniels Band- The Devil Went Down To Geogia
Jamiroquai- Virtual Insanity
John Parr- St. Elmos Fire
Elton John- I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues
Elton John- Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long Long Time)
Elton John- Tiny Dancer