a helpful list for the mainstream media.

a few of my favorites:

• Having a blog without comments is like operating a chainsaw while wearing proper eye protection. Sure, you can do it, but it makes you a sissy.
• Some blogs are powerful, media-shaking tools for factchecking slanted journalism. These blogs are called Powerline, and the facts are whatever Hindrocket says they are you stupid liberals plotting against me with your sneaky memos and telephoto lenses and I hate you all.
• If Mark Twain was living today, he’d be a blogger. If Henry David Thoreau was living today, he’d be a blogger. If Jesus was living today, he’d have the best Internet connectivity of anyone, and his site wouldn’t have any popup ads for mortgage refinancing.
• A blog is like a friendly neighborhood bar where everybody knows your name. Except they only know your fake name, not your real one. So it’s like a singles bar. Except nobody knows what sex you are, unless you tell them. And you might be lying. Then Alex gets drunk and kills a guy.

ok, so I changed the last one a little bit. but it still applies.

IM ROXXORING DA h377 outa U!

The pope…still PK’ing in heaven.

if there were any doubters before, I beg of you to please read this.

it isn’t right. some people who shop at wal-mart(criminy, MOST people who shop there!) should not be allowed to reproduce. Or find happiness in any form. This is a human-rights tragedy in the making.

*sigh*

The apocalypse, it isn’t coming…it’s here right now.

the greatest day EVER for internet videos…

First, I got to see Mr. T Rappin’ about everyone’s mama, and let me tell you…Mr. T has some PHAT RHYMES.
(via Sarcasmo)

Then I got to see Hootie and the Sellouts talking about some sandwich from Burger King. I always knew he was a subpar musician, but even subpar musicians have SOME pride. Apparently, Hootie “Only wants to be with you”, burger king!
(via Yummy brain gravy)

according to Biography’s dead celebrity soul mate search, I’d be Ideally matched with Cleopatra, Queen Victoria, or Catherine the Great of Russia.

smokin’!