my God died for me today…what has your god done for you?

From now on, on Friday’s, I will be taking my horoscope, and picking it apart, bit by bit. The numbers are added by me in parantheses so its easier to see what I’m talking about. EVERY FRIDAY FROM NOW ON!!!

Sagittarius: (1) You know how to tweak people. (2) This skill can be put to constructive use - in fact, there’s someone who will pay you good money for your talent. (3) However, be on the lookout for what other than money makes you feel rich.

1. Yeah, that’s true. Good job horoscope, after years of trying you’ve got me pegged! Jackass.

2. This is patently false. No one is willing to pay me for my talents! I’ve tried!

3. Something other than money…? Doubloons? Are you saying that I should attack some spaniards to get me some doubloons? What the…?

As usual, the horoscope makes NO SENSE. *sigh*. Anybody know any spaniards whose vessels I can scuttle?

Apparently, surgeons who play video games are less likely to make errors according to this article.

Of course, in the talk BEFORE the surgery, and during the surgery, sometimes the scalpels are mistakenly referred to as ’swords’ and the tumors, cancers, and fats referred to as ‘bad guys’. And more than one surgical assistant has been screamed at for, according to one surgeon, ‘messing him up and causing him to lose a guy’. The last outburst was rather odd, because according to hospital reports, not only did the patient make it through surgery, it was a she.

9 year old gets arrested for stealing a rabbit from someone’s house.

“Lori Ventura, the mother of the child who owns the rabbit, said the girl has been involved in other incidents and needs help.”

According to news sources, those ‘other incidents’ have involved stealing a Mall Santa at christmas time, a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s day, and a veteran on Veteran’s day.

Now, if she’d just be like OTHER little girls and just steal some tyke’s heart on Valentine’s day.

Apparently, cats have been ‘domesticated’ for the last 9000 years, as this artile about a neolithic grave site explains.

“The cat we found in the grave may have been pre-domesticated - something in between savage and domestic. Alternatively, it’s possible it was really domestic,” Professor Jean Guilaine of the CNRS Centre d’Anthropologie in Toulouse, France told BBC News Online.

NEWSFLASH: Cats are still somewhere between savage and domestic. Now the question is: did we domesticate the cat, or did the cat domesticate us?

whoa. Gotta wrap this up, the cross-eyed cat is glaring at me…

Canning him over indecency is a hypocritical move. He’s been FAR WORSE in the past, why didn’t you fire him then?

Oh yes, that’s right! Because one little female breast was shown on TV, and it takes all of our minds off this unpleasant business in Iraq to make mountains out of molehills.

LONG LIVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!

woops, ’scuse me, I gotta go. Ashcroft and his goons are at my door for that last statement.

John Woo plans a Metroid movie!

Woohoo! That’s pretty bad-ass, if you ask me. Just so long as he doesn’t make a Super Mario-esque film, we’ll all be ok.

by the way, any time someone says “I’m excited” it MUST be followed immediately by “and I just can’t hide it!”